Animal
So you want to meet Animal? You're either fearless or just plain crazy. You'll still need help, if you want to survive. Here, I've compiled an illustrated guide to Animal's emotions. Heed the warnings and you may live to tell the tale.
The Animal Attacks Advisory System (right) combines threat information with vulnerability assessments and provides communications to public safety officials and the public.
Animal sightings (amateur video)
 Just don't laugh at her antics |
 Could be fight or flight |
 Use slow, calm speech to soothe Animal |
 She is likely to look to you for amusement |
 No danger: she is likely to fall asleep |
 Highly unpredictable. Could be a punch coming, or she may just fall asleep |
 She's not going anywhere, you're safe |
 This stage won't last long: stay clear |
 Stay sympathetic, don't get in the middle |
 She tends to retreat when disgusted - she typically doesn't lash out |
 Just because she's quiet doesn't mean she's defenseless |
 Whatever you did, stop doing it. Quickly. |
 Back off. |
 She doesn't know her own strength or when to stop |
 Run. |
 She may be a little unpredictable here |
 Hopefully you aren't the thing that caught her attention. |
 She is unlikely to put you at risk |
 It only looks like a smile because she is about to attack |
 Don't interact. Any comments may get you killed. |
 Be aware, this may quickly turn to anger. |
 You won't get violent behavior here |
 Animal hates to be humiliated. Expect retaliation. |
 I haven't known her to kill for food, but you never know... |
 Attempt to deflect blame to something else |
 See the teeth? |
 A rare one. Not enough information to give advice. |
 Animal can be very defensive. Apologize. |
 You may be out of luck on this one |
 I'm not sure why she's wearing a horseshoe crab |
 This can be one of her most powerful emotions. Hide your possensions. |
 She celebrates hard too - don't let your guard down |
 Unlikely to be violent |
 If you don't go to the gym regularly, stay clear |
 She may look asleep/sleepy, but this can be her most dangerous time |
 Her games will not be fun for you |
 This is likely to be a game, she is not easily offended. Still, be cautious. |
 Don't forget a towel! |
 Plan for a rest after horsing around |
 I really don't have much sympathy for you - you asked for it |
 She may remain in this state for quite some time, take a breather |
 Nap Time! |
 Distract her with something else more interesting before her plans develop. |
 Let her sleep and you'll be fine |
 Extremely unpredictable. Be ready for anything. |
 This one looks worse than it is |
 She's on to you. Back off. |
 She will sacrifice you to save herself in the face of danger. |
 I hope you're ready for a fight. You can't bluff her into backing down. |
 She is almost definitely faking it to pull you close |
 Now's your chance to make her certain. There's a small window for this. |
 Even Animal gets tired for real. |
 Doesn't happen often. You must be a sick individual. |